All day, I’ve been looking for two files. Two hard-copy, printed-on-actual-wood-turned-into-paper files.

My day began searching in the most logical place: the filing cabinet. It stands so tall, almost regal looking, with its cherry wood shining, and its worn brass pulls. Inside, there is no beauty to the alphabet of file folders, looking as if someone threw them all into the air and put them back into whichever drawer they could shove them.

So, for example, the first drawer, home to file folders with letters A through F actually had file folders with “M”s, “F”s, “S”s, “T”s, and “V”s. Behind the “V”s, file folders with “A”s scattered here and there with “L”s.

The second drawer: rewind and repeat the above.

By the third and fourth drawers, I realized how someone might choose a career in professional organizing.

I finally gave up my search, leaving the office looking as if baby elephants had been playing in there all day.

I guess I do need a professional organizer now.