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I’m concerned about what happens when we die. Where do we go, what happens to our soul, and if we are buried in the ground, what happens to our bodies? My Great Aunt passed away two days ago, and I learned this from a text message. A BLOODY TEXT MESSAGE! Who texts something like that to someone else? Whatever happened to social graces? Pick up the fucking phone and call the person. Have we all lost the ability to reach out and touch someone? My great aunt was so witty and clever and funny. She was loyal, definitely stubborn, and usually a follower, not a leader. It makes me wonder how she could have had a daughter who seemed to push her mother to the back burner all the time. It seemed my great aunt either didn’t notice or didn’t care to notice. I believe my cousin, my great aunt’s daughter, is selfish. She says she and her Mom have had a strained relationship for a long time. I don’t understand her, and I think she neglected her mom. And there’s not going to be a Catholic Mass with her funeral, and she would’ve wanted that.

Sadly, I’m too tired of it to be more concerned. My great aunt deserved better. Just better.

I think because I don’t understand people lately, and don’t have the energy to want to understand them, I’m not liking people in general anymore. If I could hide away and read and write, I would be a really happy person. I would want to see my husband, of course, and my parents, and our dog and cats. And my close friends. But everyone else stifles any spark inside me much like a snuffer kills the flame of a candle.

She deserved better. And I don’t have the energy to try to understand her daughter and why she operates the way she does.

I just know when someone deserves better, and my great aunt definitely did.