I’m standing in a vacuous yet cozy, warm room. I collapse in an overstuffed chair that looks like old carpet bag Mary Poppins would love. It’s got pulled threads here and there, and I think I see a bit of stuffing popping out of a corner of the cushion. There are thousands, no millions, of people as far as I can see, yet most of them are blurry, the kind of blurry that makes me think I might need my eye exam sooner than later.
It’s breezy, but I can’t find the source of the breeze. Every time I feel I’m on the cusp of getting too warm, the breeze sweeps through. I wait as if I’ve been here before, but I have no idea why I’m here. It’s deja vu-ish.
Music plays in the background. It twinkles lightly, turning me toward its source, but like the wind, I see no band, no speakers, no DJ. And the music soothes me. It’s not a yawner, but it’s not a popular song either. It’s like that song you love but not enough to purchase.
I wear sweatpants, a cropped top with a sliver of my skin showing, and a denim jumper. I’m barefoot, and even though the floor sparkles like snowflakes on a crisp sunny day, it is surprisingly squishy and soft like the finest sand. I involuntarily wriggle my toes in it.
Light glows from somewhere, but there is no lighting.
And then I see them. They’ve all just arrived together and are sitting around on chairs and sofas similar to mine. Some of them are laughing, most are smiling, and all are peaceful. Content. Relaxed.
As tears silently stream down my face, I stare one by one into eyes I’ve seen before. It’s been decades since I’ve seen some of them, but they are all as I remember. Some I’ve never seen but in pictures.
The faces are clear. My eye exam can wait. All my relatives who have passed away begin talking with each other, with me. Whatever this is – Heaven, the universe, a dream, or a dream about Heaven being the actual universe – I am comforted, swollen with pride and admiration, and happy to see and speak with them one more time.
And a thought flashes, “Why do I look like slop? Surely I could’ve dressed better.”