My mind collects everything, even all the mundane and irrelevant rubbish. And it leaves me paralyzed at times because while some people, most people, sift that out of their brains to get to the things that really matter, I do not. Even worse, I can’t let the small, trivial items go. They lurk in the darkest recesses of my mind, they stay there until I can no longer ignore them. Sometimes I vocalize the items, sometimes I have the strength to mute myself. Yet I never get to turn off any of them. Even at rest, I struggle with so many ideas, thoughts, past events and situations, “what ifs”, that my brain churns and churns and doesn’t know which one to snag and stick with.
So it leaves me feeling empty. Funny how empty it feels even when it’s filled with everything, even all the mundane and irrelevant rubbish.