Yes, I hate people. In general, everyone who is a human, I hate. Of course I don’t mean YOU.

Let me explain.

Today I visited a shopping establishment. It shall remain nameless, mainly because if anyone of note in that company’s hierarchy reads this, I wish to continue as a client of said company. So, let’s call it The Store.

Usually, consumers constantly crawl The Store on Saturdays. It is annoying. It makes me hate people, and I wish to rent out any shopping establishment, including The Store instead of having to interact with any other consumers. I don’t want elbows, shopping carts, big luggage-sized purses, or any other body parts shoving me this way and that, especially without an “Excuse me” or “Pardon me”.

When I say I “hate” people, I hate their rude, annoying, irritating, uncouth, discourteous, and altogether self-centered selves.

When I am standing in an aisle, clearly not moving, please do not think me a specter that you may just move right through with maybe some sort of aftertaste in your mouth for having passed through invisible energy.

If for some odd reason you do move right through me, please excuse yourself, back away from me upon immediately realizing your mistake, and take another route. Or you will face my wrath.

I hate people, but again, I don’t mean YOU.